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19 September 2011 @ 14:12
It be not me fault it be Pirate Day  
6x09 Night Terrors

Shiver me timbers, I got three episodes to write aboot afore the finale be ruinin' me perception. So here be the first.

Arr, first be the episode tha' scurvy dog Mark Gatiss writ. I be likin' Mark Gatiss so I be bi... bai... bas... writin' nice things. Possibly.
The problem be that I ain't not got much to write about th'episode. Thar be a wee kid wi' awful bad dreams an' a lily-livered landlubber o' a fa'er. An' it get worse as the Doctorr arrive wi' his red-haired wench and his sprog matey to show tha' landlubber how to sing yo-ho-ho. Oh an' to teach them tha' monsters be real, 'cos bein' landlubbers he wouldn't recognise the Kraken if it be bitin' him head off.
Aye, the wench and the squiffy get in trouble, 'cos tha' be wha' they do and such they be not botherin' the Doctorr. I would never not be lettin' them landlubbers on me ship, tha' be for sure, lest we be endin' up in Davy Jones' locker. An' some dolls come an' scare them stiff. Honestly, the scallywag wi' the stinkin' ugly dog looked be'er as a doll. The problem be tha' when the dolls catch the wench, it be obvious tha' they be turnin' back into landlubbers at the end. They not be never killin' the wench, every second corsair be watchin' the show for the wench's pretty... Hi'lander speech. Why not catch the sprog, he be wi' the black spot, but no one be never believin' the wench be dyin'.
But the kid bein' the demon after all be such a jolly good twist tha' I not be complainin' about another Gatiss episode bein' sa'ed by the po'er o' grog luv.
The problem be tha' I be expectin' somethin' more tense but the wench an' the sprog walkin' about in a house be plain borin' an' it took the monsters too long to appear and thar be no swashbucklin'. They be good monsters tho' and the second half (after the monsters be a-come) be good.

Ahoy, me hearties,
Dread Pirate Nick

Note to any passin' buccaneer: I be sorry for the godawful bad pirate talk, I be a scurvy landlubber, but tha' be the one only way I be able to make meself return from me hiatus to sail the seven seas again. Let thar be grog!
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